Sunday, July 03, 2005

German Summertime Beer Myths

As Bavarians get ready to swarm the beergardens, the German site t-online is running a list of beer myths: (Take this with a grain of salt. I put in my own commentary with the rough translation)

1. Beer makes you horny: they say it's false.
2. Beer protects from hearing loss: They say it's true. If you drink 4.2 liters a week, you reduce the risk of old-age hearing loss by about 40%. The scientists (Americans- hah!) speculate that the health benefit comes because of improved circulation in the inner ear. If you really want to keep your hearing, stay away from Oktoberfest.
3. Beer is unhealthy: they say it's false, citing antibacterial activity and cardiovascular benefits. Yeah, that's right. It's a health food. (see below)
4. Beer is only for men: Although women might avoid inferior stuff, German beer brewed according to the Reinheitsgebot is naturally loved by everyone.
5. Beer leads to a beer-belly: False. You have to have the genetic tendency. Yeah right, it just happens that college-aged men all have the same genes. And even though it's only genetic, the same web page nevertheless links to a list of stomach exercises to get a washboard stomach. Presumably so that people who have both genetic tendencies can change their bellies back and forth.
6. Beer makes you hungry: true.
7. Beer is good for skin and hair: Ok, this is getting ridiculous. Beer has B-vitamins and minerals from the yeast. That's why drunks are famous for their glistening skin.
8. Beer improves (increases?) your circulation: True. Think flushed faces.
9. Beer makes your bones stronger. A single glass has 40% of your daily silicon. Look elsewhere for silicone.
10. Don't drink beer after wine: Doesn't matter anyway, you slob.
11. Wheat beer (Hefe) gives you headaches: This is personally true to me (maybe it's the company I keep). In any case they say it's false.
12. Beer makes you fat: they give a rundown of the relative calories. Wine has more per glass. But who drinks beer by the wine glass?

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