Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Your cappucino has no froth

Metafilter links to a hilarious Women's complaint against coffee, in which the demon bean interferes with men's spousal perfomance.

For here like so many Frogs in a puddle, they sup muddy
water, and murmur insignificant notes till half a dozen of
them out-babble an equal number of us at a Gossipping...

...Thus like Tennis Balls between
two Rackets, the Fopps our Husbands are bandied to and fro all day
between the Coffee-house and Tavern, whilst we poor Souls sit mopeing all
alone till Twelve at night, and when at last they come to bed smoakt like a
Westphalia Hogs-head we have no more comfort of them, than from a
shotten Herring or a dryed Bulrush; which forces us to take up this
Lamentation and sing

Much more in the comments section.

UPDATE: I started to think it was a hoax, because the Metafilter link was to an unadorned html, and because the final, legal petition, portion of the document was in no way as ornate and overblown as the preamble (even as a hoax, that preamble would be a masterpiece!). Also, I had some, ahem, reservations about the physiological premise of the complaint. Even after big night at Starbuck's, I like to think I'm still a bit more Comfort than a shotten Herring (although, sadly, I do indeed babble like a Frog in a puddle).

I followed the story backwards through several links from a Livejournal, to Scribbling Woman (awesome blog!), to Irwin Primer at the C18-L listserve . This last person seems to have known the document from before; and his link points back to the same html which Metafilter references. So I guess it is real. It's really nice to see everyone preserving the chain of links.

Final word belongs to Jim Chevalier also at the C18-L listserve, who says that coffee was also associated with impotence in France.

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